Okay, well, if you won’t say it, I will. I have
skinny shamed someone at some time in my life and I am truly sorry for it, and
most importantly, I won’t be doing it again. Skinny shaming, similar to slut
shaming, is taking hits and making rude
or unnecessary comments about a person, regardless of gender, who happens to be
“skinny” or petite. Haven’t we all done this though? Most likely, and this isn't something to be proud of. It has a lot to do with society, the media, large
corporations and commercial advertising. Ill present what one as a reader would
need to know to correctly understand the story that I experienced and reacted to as a woman who thinks all people are beautiful, unique, and deserving of respect.
Victoria’s
Secret released an ad for a new line of bras called The Perfect “Body”.
I underlined that because yes, Victoria’s Secret put the word body specifically
in quotations and I think we can all easily see why. If VS hadn't put the word body
in quotations, the whole world would have gone ballistic. That ad was not aiming to sell a body ideal. The ad
is trying to sell you a bra that is more comfortable and form-fitting. The way
one interprets the world around them is up to them, but I can’t sit back and
let the world hoot and holler over this without getting my 2 cents in. The
women who model for VS train like athletes, they eat healthy, they have
children, families, and most targeted for debate, a career. Why should they, or you, or anyone else be the targets of
ignorant people who take comfort in calling someone else “too skinny” or “too
fat”?
I have something very
important to say to any and all people, particularly women, who have a problem
with models who are considered tall, as in over 5 foot 10 inches, and are below
a certain weight class: Stop. Stop having a problem because a woman is tall,
thin, and may be paid to wear clothes or lingerie and have their picture taken.
Tall thin people or models aren't making you any larger, any less beautiful, and any less
intelligent because they are tall thin people or models. You are making yourself what you
want to be. Unfortunately, if one eats unhealthy fattening foods and do not
exercise enough, yes, they will gain weight. If they don’t like that, they have
to change it. One is in control of themselves. No one should have to
feel sorry for someone being unhappy with their own body or unhealthy, but more importantly, one shouldn't think that it is even mildly acceptable to take hits at anyone, not
just models, because they are "skinny" or "fat". This includes the following types of
comments:
-
" This person must be anorexic or
bulimic, look how skinny he/she is”
-
“You need to gain/lose weight” “Are you
eating enough?”
-
“Why are you so skinny? People don’t
like men/women who are too skinny.”
What if someone walked
up to you and directly took a hit at something you can’t control, or working on? What if you
are confident being tall and thin or short and curvy, and someone said that wasn't okay? It’s a different story however if you are truly anorexic or
bulimic. Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa are mental and physical illnesses and
should be treated with care, and by a doctor, but no one with an illness should
be ridiculed for it. The best applicable cliche here? If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
What sparked this
debate is something I found from my (ex)
favorite magazine, Cosmopolitan. They tweeted an article from their website, where in this article they called the models in the VS Perfect “Body” ad “Stick-Skinny”, and were condoning this by also posting a picture similar to the original VS ad of average height and average and overweight women in bras and underwear not made by VS or even a part of the Perfect Body line. This picture was posted just to take a hit at models who are tall, fit, and thin.
favorite magazine, Cosmopolitan. They tweeted an article from their website, where in this article they called the models in the VS Perfect “Body” ad “Stick-Skinny”, and were condoning this by also posting a picture similar to the original VS ad of average height and average and overweight women in bras and underwear not made by VS or even a part of the Perfect Body line. This picture was posted just to take a hit at models who are tall, fit, and thin.
Excuse me, WHAT? I
cannot believe that a magazine committed to “Fun Fearless” women would think it’s
okay to call another woman “stick-skinny” and then applaud another irrelevant photo
that isn’t trying to sell a product, and is only trying to prove something wrong, hurtful, and pointless. The second photo shown earlier in this blog features ONLY average height and
average weight women, and women who are overweight, just to take a hit at the
models featured in the VS ad. May I be so bold as to remind the Cosmopolitan
team that the November issue from 2013 FEATURED Miranda Kerr, a former
Victoria’s Secret model, on the cover? They also have featured models like Karlie Kloss and Doutzen Kroes in advertisements in their magazine. There isn't a damn thing that is “fun”
or “fearless” about publicly skinny shaming another person or group of people.
If Miranda Kerr for instance saw that now, how would she feel? How would any of the other
models feel? I shudder to think that they might have become so used to the
skinny shaming that it doesn't bother them anymore, but at the very least, a
defiant confidence would come as a result. Is it now okay to bash any woman for any reason? Bashing and emotionally harming because she’s “skinny”
or “fat”? Tall or short? “Pretty” or “Ugly”? “Nice” or “Bitchy”? No. Every
woman on this planet should treat others and be treated with respect and
kindness because we seem to be forgetting something really important here that is
bigger than any corporation or any ideal or any comment made: We are all Human Beings. We should not
be subjected to cruel judgments and wrongful stereotypes by the way we look, where we come from, how we behave or act, or choose to dress.
I tweeted back in disgust as a response to Cosmopolitan, and I’m not alone in my opinions.
Quite a few had tweeted back something along the same lines that I had.What Cosmopolitan had said and done on their site and what the second photo shown above has said of tall thin women wasn't okay, necessary, or fair. It was skinny shaming. The same thing goes for women who are curvier or larger than others. They should be treated with respect and kindness and with the same care as anyone else of any other size. That is what is right and fair.
Quite a few had tweeted back something along the same lines that I had.What Cosmopolitan had said and done on their site and what the second photo shown above has said of tall thin women wasn't okay, necessary, or fair. It was skinny shaming. The same thing goes for women who are curvier or larger than others. They should be treated with respect and kindness and with the same care as anyone else of any other size. That is what is right and fair.
I can only hope that
this fraction of a much larger problem can
begin to be solved and reworked to be a lesson and a triumph, not
an ongoing lazy river of shame, hurtfulness, and disrespect. Remember, you could be part of the problem you are trying to avoid. Be kind to all people at all times, no exceptions.
begin to be solved and reworked to be a lesson and a triumph, not
an ongoing lazy river of shame, hurtfulness, and disrespect. Remember, you could be part of the problem you are trying to avoid. Be kind to all people at all times, no exceptions.
Love Always, for any
size and any shape, B
